In the build up to my now Sister-in-Laws’s wedding we didn’t want to focus too much on the pregnancy apart from remembering the folic acid and my Wife’s unfortunate position of being the only sober person in the room come the first dance. However, soon after the wedding came the 13-week scan. We went to our local antenatal unit armed with enough pound coins to both purchase a picture and pay for parking (which we ended up paying for twice due to initially parking in the wrong place – a mistake I am planning to learn from come the day of the birth!) and were not sure what to expect.
We were early and so watched the other mother’s-to-be coming in. It was a bit like seeing snapshots of the future and in my imagination I could see all the different stages of the journey we are about to partake in. From my non-showing wife to a slight bump all the way through to a bump of beach-ball sized proportions! We also saw couples with kid’s in tow, all the while knowing that we would be coming back in the same situation as them some years ahead. It was comforting to see that everyone seemed happy despite the early hour or how many children they had in tow!
When we were called into the room my wife lay down, exposed her very slight bump (I have been informed that she was very glad to have been wearing leggings at that moment!), endured the cold lotion and there it was straight away. That moment of actually seeing your child for the first time is unbelievable! To be honest neither of you really thinks there is anything there up until this point. My wife was lucky enough to not get morning sickness and so there wasn’t really much evidence that our baby was growing inside her! I was expecting to see a vague peanut like shape and for the midwife to be pointing at it and tring to convince me it was a baby! But it looked, perhaps unsuprisingly looking back, actually like a baby! if my jaw hadn’t hit the floor by then it most certainly did when the baby actually started moving around! Now it was only about 6cm across and couldn’t be felt but I cannot imagine what it is actually like for the Mother to know that it is inside her. It must be a wonderful feeling – it’s pretty amazing for the Dad too!
For my first ‘real’ post I thought I would write a summary of events so far….My wife and I met after university and after enjoying city life with our friends (most of which have now moved to London) our jobs took us into a more rural setting. After getting married and finally finishing decorating our new house (well it is nearly finished 4 years later…) it was time to think about the idea of becoming parents. I cannot imagine anyone deciding one day that “Yes, now is the time in my life when I am completely ready to have children”. You can always find some kind of excuse, probably either work or money related, to put this decision off until “next year”. At the end of the day if you are sure you both want kids then you will just have to go for it! You also don’t know how long it will take you to conceive and as much as it might seems a good idea to wait until that next promotion or step up the pay scale, there are definite risks with holding off too long.
So we decided to start trying and worked out the time-scale in order to aim for a September birth. We missed that date but after looking for advice on the initially intimidating world of mumsnet, discovered that thee were all kinds of apps and tests that could be done to work out ovulation times. So armed with ‘fertility friend’ and a thermometer we managed to conceive. The moment the 2 lines on the test went pink was a moment of great joy but also surprise (my wife was convinced she wasn’t pregnant before hand), relief – that everything did work and that I was as ‘manly’ as the next guy (I am obviously not alone in thinking this as my already dad male friends will often say ‘Well done’ and give me what I can only assume is a secret handshake into the world of Fatherhood!) and an amount of trepidation about how much this was going to change our lives (I am now reliable informed that the answer to this will be A LOT!).
Surprisingly, not a lot changed initially although my wife had just organised her sister’s hen-do and luckily didn’t blame me too-much when she had to sit on the side in the spa and drink mocktails in the club while trying to pretend she wasn’t pregnant. The first time it really hit home was the first scan – the focus of my next post.