So after a nice Christmas break I am back to work and my wide has started maternity leave. This is the first real change to our way of life as my wife was somewhat of a workaholic and would often come back from work after me. It is nice to think that I will be able to get used to her (and the baby!) Being at home when I get in!
The count down is now on and we are in a race not to be the last nct couple to have our child! Our hospital bags are packed and my paternity arrangements are made so that I can leave work at the drop of the hat. We have also completed our nursery and all the home improvements are finished.
All we need now is thebaby and a name…
It had been a longtime since my last up date and a lot has happened! We experienced our first trip to John Lewis wrote when we got so freaked out we left with a musical sheep! Just finished our antenatal classes with the NCT where we learnt a lot about what to expect and met a lot of friendly couples! It was good to see that everyone was just as unprepared for what was to get me as we were, even those whose birthdate is imminent! We learnt a lot about the birthing process and the options involved. I couldnt help but come away from it thinking that we wouldnt really have much choice on the day and we will probably just end up trusting the fantastic professionals at the midwifery unit! Although a natural birth sound like a good plan it isn’t me who we be going through it and whatever my wife wants at the time will undoubtedly be the best choice!
Talking about my wife, she has been managing very will in her 33rd week! She has been crawling around the floor tonight trying to sew some amazing curtains together for the nursery! She has also made all manner of things for the baby and I plan on displaying g them in my next post! Only 7 weeks left……
Its been a busy time over the last couple of weeks so I failed to post . However, I did want to let you know about our experiences at the second (and third) scan, where you can discover the sex of the baby…
Feeling more confident thus time around we drove to the hospital, parked in the correct place this time and sauntered into the midwifery unit. I collected our picture token while my wife checked us in. I was armed with a magazine this time but my wife came back with a sign up book for antenatal classes. We had already signed up for the NCT course so we are still deliberating on this! I did look at the I formation about the scan though and realised for the first time that there would be lots of important measurements made! I think I had always known this but tried not to think about the implications. So instead of reading my magazine and looking cool, I was fidgeting and feeling vaguely worried!
Very soon our name was called and we went into the scanning room. My wife once again had worn sensible legging and a top. I can only imagine that it could be embarrassing if you chose to wear a dress! We were soon staring at the monitor in rapt attention as we could again see our baby. I was once more amazed to see how human-like it looked and very soon a number of readings were being called out. At one stage we saw our baby’s face – an amazing experience because it seemed to be looking straight at us! However the serene moment was somewhat spoiled as the sonographer seemed to keep slightly zooming in and out. It is probably hard to keep the scan stable, especially if the baby is moving but the end result was that after seeing the face we then saw the skull, then face then skull and finally the brain – as if our baby was staring in its own horror movie!
Soon after the moment arrived when we were asked “Do you want to know the sex of the child?”. Now we had both decide to keep it a secret but I knew this moment would be hard! I didn’t realise that we would have to look away while 2 other people in the room were looking at the answer to our mystery! Me and my wife looked at each other to ensure the other didn’t cheat but it was very tempting to look!
Now it seemed like our darling child wasn’t in the mood for sitting still and despite much prodding we were told that we would have to have another scan in a couple of weeks. That scan went fine but it did make me realise why a sonographer keeps up with seemingly inane chat during the scan. Its because as soon as they stop you instantly start to worry about why they are suddenly concentrating so much on the screen.. “What have they seen? Is there something wrong? WHY AREN’T THEY TALKING!!!!” At least they were the questions that went around my head until the glorious inane prattle started up again!
The shocking skull image!
20 weeks into the pregnancy and time is dwindling to find a name for our unborn child. This seems to be a surprisingly difficult task! Maybe I should have been more prepared for our indecisiveness, given that my wife is a teacher. This means that whenever I recommend a name there is some reason or other why we should not give our child that name. This has even now expanded to famous people… The suggestion of Andrew is batted away because ‘I can’t stand Andy Murray’, this is leading to a series of very short conversations on the topic as we both get more and more exasperated. Apparently any good name will only remain a favorite for as long as it takes for an unsuitable candidate to be thought of, be this human (Andy), vegetable or apparently mineral!
When I order at a restaurant I often wait until the waiter asks me before making a snap decision on my food. Maybe I will have to make a similar decision when we are handed the birth certificate and write down the first thing that comes into my head. Given the setting we may end up with an unfortunately named child. This could take the form of
Nurse, Scrub or even placenta! At least the decision will finally have been made!
Actually Placenta is starting to sound pretty good…..
In the build up to my now Sister-in-Laws’s wedding we didn’t want to focus too much on the pregnancy apart from remembering the folic acid and my Wife’s unfortunate position of being the only sober person in the room come the first dance. However, soon after the wedding came the 13-week scan. We went to our local antenatal unit armed with enough pound coins to both purchase a picture and pay for parking (which we ended up paying for twice due to initially parking in the wrong place – a mistake I am planning to learn from come the day of the birth!) and were not sure what to expect.
We were early and so watched the other mother’s-to-be coming in. It was a bit like seeing snapshots of the future and in my imagination I could see all the different stages of the journey we are about to partake in. From my non-showing wife to a slight bump all the way through to a bump of beach-ball sized proportions! We also saw couples with kid’s in tow, all the while knowing that we would be coming back in the same situation as them some years ahead. It was comforting to see that everyone seemed happy despite the early hour or how many children they had in tow!
When we were called into the room my wife lay down, exposed her very slight bump (I have been informed that she was very glad to have been wearing leggings at that moment!), endured the cold lotion and there it was straight away. That moment of actually seeing your child for the first time is unbelievable! To be honest neither of you really thinks there is anything there up until this point. My wife was lucky enough to not get morning sickness and so there wasn’t really much evidence that our baby was growing inside her! I was expecting to see a vague peanut like shape and for the midwife to be pointing at it and tring to convince me it was a baby! But it looked, perhaps unsuprisingly looking back, actually like a baby! if my jaw hadn’t hit the floor by then it most certainly did when the baby actually started moving around! Now it was only about 6cm across and couldn’t be felt but I cannot imagine what it is actually like for the Mother to know that it is inside her. It must be a wonderful feeling – it’s pretty amazing for the Dad too!
For my first ‘real’ post I thought I would write a summary of events so far….My wife and I met after university and after enjoying city life with our friends (most of which have now moved to London) our jobs took us into a more rural setting. After getting married and finally finishing decorating our new house (well it is nearly finished 4 years later…) it was time to think about the idea of becoming parents. I cannot imagine anyone deciding one day that “Yes, now is the time in my life when I am completely ready to have children”. You can always find some kind of excuse, probably either work or money related, to put this decision off until “next year”. At the end of the day if you are sure you both want kids then you will just have to go for it! You also don’t know how long it will take you to conceive and as much as it might seems a good idea to wait until that next promotion or step up the pay scale, there are definite risks with holding off too long.
So we decided to start trying and worked out the time-scale in order to aim for a September birth. We missed that date but after looking for advice on the initially intimidating world of mumsnet, discovered that thee were all kinds of apps and tests that could be done to work out ovulation times. So armed with ‘fertility friend’ and a thermometer we managed to conceive. The moment the 2 lines on the test went pink was a moment of great joy but also surprise (my wife was convinced she wasn’t pregnant before hand), relief – that everything did work and that I was as ‘manly’ as the next guy (I am obviously not alone in thinking this as my already dad male friends will often say ‘Well done’ and give me what I can only assume is a secret handshake into the world of Fatherhood!) and an amount of trepidation about how much this was going to change our lives (I am now reliable informed that the answer to this will be A LOT!).
Surprisingly, not a lot changed initially although my wife had just organised her sister’s hen-do and luckily didn’t blame me too-much when she had to sit on the side in the spa and drink mocktails in the club while trying to pretend she wasn’t pregnant. The first time it really hit home was the first scan – the focus of my next post.
Hi, I am an expecting Dad (well my wife is, I can’t take much credit at this stage!) in his late 20s who after reading the excellent book, ‘Diary of a desperate dad’ by Sam Jackson, thought I would have a go at writing my own blog. This is in no way a blog about how to train other Dads, the Dad I am refering to is myself. I would be honoured if anybody found this blog useful but I am also using it as a way to catalogue my own journey into the world of Fatherhood!
Over the Summer I had many thoughts on what I could be doing for a hobby. It seemed like a good idea to try something I would like to do before the arrival of our child early next year. My ideas ranged from continuing my home-brewing (a hobby that after a successful year has been left in the shed this time around after one batch can only be described as tasting like disinfectant!), writing a fantasy book (this idea lasted all of a week and I am sure that I will cringe should anybody find my notebook of ‘Game of Thrones’ inspired ramblings) or getting out on my bike more. This last think I have managed although when I went to Aldi today for some passata and came back with ‘team’ cycling shorts I did have to wonder whether I will ever get time to wear them next Summer after our new arrival?!
That last thought was the final push that brought me to my computer, I would like to let people like myself know the answers to the myriad of questions that I have at the moment. These range from will I get a chance to go bike-riding? Should I get a moses basket, a crib or both? Do I actually need a travel system instead of a pushchair? And even what does EWCM stand for (if you don’t know and your partner is already pregnant….Don’t ask!). Over the last few months I have seen that there is a ridiculous amount of information out there and this is a way to share my findings and thoughts as the moment of the birth approaches.
Who knows, I might even get to write about what happens after the birth too!